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Answer: After much research this question is still a mystery to us here at PoopingProblems.com . Unfortunately there are no well-respected, accredited record keeping institutions that keep record of largest bowel movements. Our investigation did prove useful in one facet however, debunking the current internet myth of the 26 foot poop.
26 Foot Poop Legend:
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The hoax claims that the record for longest human poop was set in 1995 by a woman (that’s right, a woman) named Michelle Hines of Ann Arbor Michigan, USA. As the legend goes Ms. Hines, a University of Michigan student at the time was self admitted “Guiness Book of World Record – Obsessed” individual with a flare for the more, unsavory. In conjunction with the Dietetics department she developed a method to create the largest and longest possible human poop. She would consume an extremely high fiber diet and use an anal plug to prevent “premature defecation”. After a week of this behavior resulting in what I can only image to be excruciating gastrointestinal pain, and the cultivation of a mammoth stool she was ready to evacuate her straining colon. The location of the birth of the poop monster would be Cranbrook-Kingswood High School bowling alley in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. The only place with long, hard floors needed for measuring and the privacy needed to awaken the beast. As the nutritionist set up the cameras Michelle quaked in anticipation. “It’s time!” barked the nutritionist and Michelle took her squat position at the measurement starting line. The butt plug was removed and a legend (fake legend) began to take shape. In accordance with the story the poop clocked in at a massive 26 feet or 7.92 meters which was claimed to be the the entire length of Ms. Hines colon. The documented “proof” is shown below:
World Record #4: Peristaltic Action, 1995, video stills
The Real Story of the 26 Foot Poop:
The Worlds Biggest Poop
In reality… None of what you’ve read above is true. In fact the actual story reads more like this: Back in 1995, Michelle Hines, who did in fact, grow up a “Guinness World Record-obsessed” Midwesterner actually attended and graduated with an MFA from the Cranbrook Academy of Art in Bloomfield Hills. The legend began when Ms. Hines created the now infamous “World Record #4: Peristaltic Action” video series, as an art project. In her piece she tells the story as follows, “In February, 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement measuring the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The week-long endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.” Although this video and subsequent retelling of this story gained mass popularity as stated above it was not true.
Disclaimer: This story is not only false but a terrible, TERRIBLE idea to attempt. The amount of painful complications that could arise from such an experiment could be catastrophic.
…And because we are a pooping informational website we felt it our obligation to point out that the human colon is between 3 and 6 feet long. Much shorter than what is claimed in the fictitious story above.
Reading Time: 3minutesThe longest human poop ever recorded will not only mystify and amaze you, but it will probably scare the crap out of you (no pun intended). Especially when you read how this record was achieved. All I can say is WOW! It’s not the best conversation starter in the world, neither is this, but do you know what the longest human poop ever recorded was? It will leave you speechless, to say the least. It’s probably more disgusting than the woman who had sex with 919 men in a single day. The longest human poop ever recorded was an astounding 7.92 metres (26 feet) and was set in 1995. You can see a set of the photos from the poop here. Want to know another amazing feature about it? It came from a woman!
I can imagine some people reading this now saying, “I have had bigger,” well it wasn’t documented, so it doesn’t count. Sorry. Some of you will be saying, impossible… It’s not true, and like this often quoted factoid, it’s a total fabrication. Well, it’s all true, documented and recorded. The rest of you I can imagine your jaw sitting on your lap in sheer horror at the thought of a monster crap like that. I bet the question you all want answered now is, how the hell did it get to that stage?
Setting the longest human poop record
Before we go any further we would strongly advise any readers against even thinking of trying to emulate or beat this crazy record. Clearly the methods used, and the length of time it took to set this record pose serious health risks. The poor unfortunate woman who as yet remains unnamed, was from Ann Arbor. She was working in conjunction with a nutritionist from the University of Michigan who placed her on a high fibre diet. But that wasn’t all the nutritionist gave her. The woman was fitted with a butt plug to keep everything in place and brewing until the big moment arrived. She was literally full of it, a bit like this guy.
After what would have been an agonising week long process the big event finally arrived. The event had to take place at Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, because it was the only surface long enough to record the result. Once it was done, she had set the record for the longest human poop ever at 7.92 metres (26 feet), which was the length of her entire colon (including intestine length obviously).
Clearly some people will still be doubting this as even remotely possible. But think of it this way. If the stool was not hard, and it shouldn’t have been because of her strict diet, it would have been considerably softer. Now, think of a tube of toothpaste. It is short and fat with a small opening. If you squeeze the paste out it will go a lot further than the length of the tube it was in. It’s possible that the woman involved had a poop occupying 15 feet of her bowel, but when squeezed out it stretched to 26 feet.
So remember, please have a high fibre diet, but don’t forcibly obstruct your bowel. It’s just not a good idea.
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